So, ow! And yet, I'm so grateful for these critiques. I talked over the chapter with my writing partner, Alexandra. I rethought the parts where I was telling instead of showing. I rethought the characters and their motivations. And you know what? The chapter is much stronger now.
One question remains: whether I'm going to keep going solo with Sons of Obsidian, or whether Alexandra will be writing and revising with me. (I've written a good deal of this book already. But I see so much room for improvement and I've already asked her to write certain scenes . . .) Well, we'll see how it goes. But I think she's going to end up as co-writer.
Meanwhile, I'll just thank G-d for the perceptive critiques!
